Friday, May 23, 2014

Too Young to Die, Too Tired to Blog

This week I started a training program with Experience Works for 20 hours a week at minimum wage. I had to do something because I was just totally financially devastated by the Medford teachers' strike and then the two weeks off for spring break. I can't make it on less than $400 a month while some substitutes are getting long-term assignments that they don't really need. Hell, I can't really make it doing this thing, but at least I am not currently paying rent or utilities. However, I have two heirloom-type things I have in the pawnshop that I have had in there for almost four years, and I have GOT to get them out of there before I can even think about going on subsidized housing. In fact, I am not going to substitute teach until I have either got both of these items out or one of them redeemed while the other one substantially paid down. Then I can perhaps work my way into at least a part-time classified position on the way to a regular job.

Of course none of this should have ever happened to me to begin with. It's pretty pathetic when you regard a total of $1034 a month before taxes as "big money." That's a pretty big fall from making around $50,000 a year six years ago before that cunt threw me under the bus (and yes, I WILL call her that because she is that and more). Having and spending money is a total obsession. even over minor things that the average person takes for granted, such as gasoline and car expenses.

Right now my car's electric fuel pump is out. My nephew, who is a mechanic for the county, says it will cost around $200 for the parts (he won't charge labor). I have to somehow come up with this so I can have a car to drive again. He also reminded me of something I already knew, and that I needed to have both of my front tires replaced; they aren't legal because of the cords showing through! I'll have to get the money somehow for that.

Anyway, by the time I return back here, and remember, my computer doesn't work right now and am using my brother's old computer, it's after 4:00. I am basically gone the whole damned day despite actually being at the book exchange for five hours. Being on my feet or walking to and/or from the place in lieu of the bus just about kills me off. I get completely and totally exhausted.

This book exchange is basically free books that people donate. Many will bring in books they have and "exchange" them for books they take from the exchange. It's entirely supported by cash donations and by sales through Amazon of books the manager believes she can sell. I have already taken home a few, as if I need any more books to read. I primarily read nonfiction while most customers take the fiction books. Anyway, I took home a few including one I am sure I already have a copy of, a biography of racing great Native Dancer.

I know I have gone on and on and on writing about how tired I am at the end of the day and not feeling much like blogging, but if the posts are sparse these days, it's because I have other stuff going on.

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